Every time my mum sees my art, she questions my insanity and interests — she shudders at the new vaginas that I craft with my hands, every breast that I paint or any sexual scene that I cut into lino.
Although I love erotic art, the pieces that I have been creating are far from eroticism. What I am creating is very specific to my experience with the fundamentals of nature.
After being cheated on a couple of years back, I felt that I lost every ounce of confidence. I was broken and I hated looking in the mirror, and yet, I would wake up, do my hair, put on make up and wear something glamourous. People always commented on how well I dressed, how glamorous I looked — and slowly I felt a little more confident. I liked the attention, so I continued — why would I stop something that made me feel "good". My ego grew and so did my appetite for attention, especially from men.
But I was still weary of men, I was never going to let a man take advantage of my emotions ever again — so I put on this pretty mask, I wore my sexuality on my sleeves, but I also wore armour made of Darwin bark spiders' silk. Surely I couldn't get hurt again if I was the one that was doing the hurting — choosing who I slept with and throwing them away when I was done. I thought this was strength. I thought I had defeated the male species — and yet, I knew that inside I was craving some form of emotional connection. But I put that need away and continued.
I tainted one of the most natural and beautiful things on this planet, and confused this with my need for power — all in a way to protect myself. (Note: Of course, power, dom and sub is completely acceptable if that is what you're interested in, but I'm not talking about that here. I'm talking about using power as a substitute for another need.)
I've got myself into a big mess, but through the art that I'm making, I'm trying to untangle these knots. I'm trying to appreciate the beauty of who I am, and not fall into the trap of being a hollow, sexual object. I'm trying hard to rebuild my connection between something as natural as the human body, sex, life and death, and beauty.
I'm making clay vaginas and exploring its rawness. I'm lino printing sexual scenes and the naked body to celebrate how sex is core to creation — creation of a new life, creation of emotional connections, creation of excitement and passion, and so much more.
But another fundamental part of nature is death — and often we are too scared to talk about death, even though it is the single one thing that is certain in all of our lives. So I also want to illustrate death in a way that allows people to finally look at it without feeling uncomfortable.
In short, that is where all of this vagina art has come from.
Note: I also love bugs and weird creatures, so there'll be some of that too.